Yeah? Listen, I’ve got to... You’re not going to believe this, I tell you mate.
Have you got a minute? Yeah? Look, sit down here, you’ll like this I swear.
Ummm.... I should say before I start that this is a bit... Well, it’s between you and me, put it this way.
No, no, mate. Nothing like that. No, Christ. You know me. You’re all right there.
I just don’t want certain types of people to...
Yeah, exactly.
We’re all right here, aren’t we?
Gotta be, yeah.
Most of them are now, yeah. Bound to be, I suppose.
Anyway, this has just blown my mind, mate, I tell you.
I... Well,...
What happens is this.
I’m working a drone on the old Shoreham site - you know the one. We must have started that when you were still down there.
Yeah, that’s it.
Well, it’s just a totally normal day of sifting, right?
We’re raking through the corner of this yard, right, doing particles, solids, air takes and all that. And it’s all totally fucking toxic. I mean, you know that, Geoff. The stuff that’s gone on down there. They wouldn’t even send the robots in for years.
And it’s been like that the whole time I’ve been working on it. 80 percent to 90 percent the whole time. On everything.
I mean, I don’t know why they’re even bothering with the report. The whole place is just totally...
Yeah, exactly.
Well, I’m just drifting the drone around a bit when I come across this lump of rock, right up in the corner, and I decide to shift it out of the way.
Don’t ask me why. I could’ve left it, no problem, but I just fancy it, right? You’ve got to do something a bit different or you just fall asleep, right?
So I get the thick arm and roll the rock out of the way.
Takes a few goes, you know, quite a big lump - 20 or 25 cem - and then I zoom in on what’s behind it. And this is the bit you won’t believe, mate.
What do you reckon I see there?
Yeah, the corner. All right, mate. No. Yeah. Very good.
No, I’ll tell you, Geoff. There is only a fucking plant growing out of the ground!
Yeah!
Yeah! It’s all green and sticking up right and everything. One hundred percent alive.
Yeah, I know. I couldn’t, either. Still can’t, to be honest.
But I’ve seen it with my own eyes.
What?
Oh sure, yeah, but that’s as good as. I mean, you wouldn’t catch me going anywhere near the sodding place in real life.
I mean, you’d just be fucking dead. Anything would be. Even bloody bacteria have a tough time of it down there, know what I mean?
What?
No, they haven’t. Well, I haven’t told them, have I?
No way, mate. Sod the analysis. They’d have it out of the ground before you could blink. No way. Listen, Geoff. Do us a favour. Don’t say anything about this, will you mate? I shouldn’t have told you really. I know it’s not fair on you, but I just had to...
It’s hard to explain, but it sort of seems important to me. More important than any of the other stuff that happens.
That great fucking poisonous death-hole and this tiny little green thing hidden away in the corner - it’s like a sort of...
Yeah, exactly.