47 Random Fragments of Unauthorised Hope and Despair


GEOFF! You all right, mate?

Yeah? Listen, Iíve got to... Youíre not going to believe this, I tell you mate.

Have you got a minute? Yeah? Look, sit down here, youíll like this I swear.

Ummm.... I should say before I start that this is a bit... Well, itís between you and me, put it this way.

No, no, mate. Nothing like that. No, Christ. You know me. Youíre all right there.

I just donít want certain types of people to...

Yeah, exactly.

Weíre all right here, arenít we?

Gotta be, yeah.

Most of them are now, yeah. Bound to be, I suppose.

Anyway, this has just blown my mind, mate, I tell you.

I... Well,...

What happens is this.

Iím working a drone on the old Shoreham site - you know the one. We must have started that when you were still down there.

Yeah, thatís it.

Well, itís just a totally normal day of sifting, right?

Weíre raking through the corner of this yard, right, doing particles, solids, air takes and all that. And itís all totally fucking toxic. I mean, you know that, Geoff. The stuff thatís gone on down there. They wouldnít even send the robots in for years.

And itís been like that the whole time Iíve been working on it. 80 percent to 90 percent the whole time. On everything.

I mean, I donít know why theyíre even bothering with the report. The whole place is just totally...

Yeah, exactly.

Well, Iím just drifting the drone around a bit when I come across this lump of rock, right up in the corner, and I decide to shift it out of the way.

Donít ask me why. I couldíve left it, no problem, but I just fancy it, right? Youíve got to do something a bit different or you just fall asleep, right?

So I get the thick arm and roll the rock out of the way.

Takes a few goes, you know, quite a big lump - 20 or 25 cem - and then I zoom in on whatís behind it. And this is the bit you wonít believe, mate.

What do you reckon I see there?

Yeah, the corner. All right, mate. No. Yeah. Very good.

No, Iíll tell you, Geoff. There is only a fucking plant growing out of the ground!


Yeah! Itís all green and sticking up right and everything. One hundred percent alive.

Yeah, I know. I couldnít, either. Still canít, to be honest.

But Iíve seen it with my own eyes.


Oh sure, yeah, but thatís as good as. I mean, you wouldnít catch me going anywhere near the sodding place in real life.

I mean, youíd just be fucking dead. Anything would be. Even bloody bacteria have a tough time of it down there, know what I mean?


No, they havenít. Well, I havenít told them, have I?

No way, mate. Sod the analysis. Theyíd have it out of the ground before you could blink. No way. Listen, Geoff. Do us a favour. Donít say anything about this, will you mate? I shouldnít have told you really. I know itís not fair on you, but I just had to...

Itís hard to explain, but it sort of seems important to me. More important than any of the other stuff that happens.

That great fucking poisonous death-hole and this tiny little green thing hidden away in the corner - itís like a sort of...

Yeah, exactly.