Issue 29 - July/August 2000
YOU SPINELESS STOOGES!
ONE of the most nauseating pieces of
patronising drivel you are ever likely to see has just been proudly published
by West Sussex County Council. The shameful item comes in the
Summer 2000 edition of West Sussex Connections in which the
council invites the people of West Sussex to "Try the Planning
Challenge". This turns out to be an ever-so-amusing little game in which
readers can play at raping the county’s countryside by plastering 28,000
new homes all over its green fields. The council has made much in recent
months of how it has been battling to stop this extra housing imposed on us by
central Government. But what it doesn’t admit it that its "fight" was
no more than an empty charade. Run by the same corrupt political-business
cartel that controls Westminster, there was no way that it was ever going to
do anything other than go through the motions of a token protest for the
benefit of the voters. And now it is trying to drag the rest of us into its
collaboration with the bulldozing of our environmental heritage by the
grasping property industry and its puppet politicians. This is all quite
obvious in the disgraceful Connections article, where the
readers are instructed to obey the "Rules of the Challenge" and are
told what "the Government requires" West Sussex to do and what "we
must plan for". Nowhere, just nowhere, is there even a hint of a
suggestion that the people of West Sussex could defy the London
Government’s edicts, refuse to see the fields and woodlands of
our county covered in concrete, stand up and fight against all the rules and
laws and central diktats. No, of course, that would never do. Orders must
be obeyed at all times. From the Government, from the EU, from the World
Trade Organisation. What ordinary people want never comes into it. Our role is
just to knuckle under and do what we are told, put up with anything they throw
at us. And what if the Government had instructed West Sussex Council to shoot
one in three of all children born in the county? Would they go along with
that, once their futile legal challenges had failed? Would they start ordering
up supplies for the maternity wards? Would they invite the public to "Take
Up the Child-Shooting Challenge" and submit names of infants that should
be sacrificed to the Gods of Authority? And if that is an absurd question,
where do you think they would draw the line? What
would it take for these spineless stooges to stand up for
what they thought was morally right, not what they were told was legal or
pragmatic or expedient? "Tells us home truths" begs the headline in the
Connections article. But that, of course, is the very last thing these
hypocrites want to hear.
Tax-Payers Foot the Ball
E would like to place on public
record our admiration for Worthing Borough Council’s decision to pay its
Chief Executive Michael Ball a £100,000 lump sum on his early retirement
and a £32,000 a year pension for life (Worthing Guardian, June
30). It is heart-warming to see a public body show such generosity to
one of its staff. We are confident that similar amounts of money will in
future be paid to all other employees in that situation, right down to the man
who operates the chewing gum removing machine. Just to make sure, though, we
are writing to the council asking them to confirm that this will indeed be the
case. Incidentally, this will be an interesting test of whether the Town Hall
intends to maintain Michael Ball’s decision, taken a couple of years
ago, never again to reply to any letter from The Pork-Bolter (he
didn’t like us criticising the Great Council Housing Privatisation
Rip-Off). * On the other side of the page that revealed Mr Ball’s
terms, The Worthing Guardian reported that the council was
looking at saving £29,500 a year by making life harder for homeless
people in B&B accommodation. Obviously, it would be utterly absurd to try
and make any comparison between this and Mr Ball’s well-deserved
£32,000 a year pension.
PORK-SCRATCHINGS
FASCINATED by the vital debate over the
possible re-naming of the Guildbourne Centre, we wasted a few
minutes thinking of some suggestions. The Michael Ball Centre
was an early favourite, but it would probably cost too much in royalties. In
the end we thought the name should honour a popular institution that used to
stand on the site, on the north side of Ann Street - Nobby Hall’s
model train shop. So The Nobby Centre it is. Or, if we want
to go all continental to honour our twin town in France, Le Centre
Nob.
* * *
IT was the animal rights protests that made Shamrock Farm give
up torturing monkeys, the owners have now admitted (West Sussex County Times,
June 9). So direct action does work. There’s a home
truth for the county council to stuff up their bulldozers.
* * *
WE Porkies get very excited at receiving mail from far-off places like East
Preston or Lancing, so when we got a package from India we were well
impressed, even before we read the rather brilliant Ballad Against
Work. Free/donation from Majdoor Library, Autopin Jhiggi, NIT,
Faridabad 121001, India (e-mail: revelrytion@hotmail.com). Also
recommended: June-August issue of Peace News (£2.50
from 5 Caledonian Road. London N1 9DY), the Summer 2000 edition of
Direct Action (£1 from DA-SF, PO Box 29, SW PDO,
Manchester M15 5HW) and the excellent Amsterdam-based English language
greenpepper, featuring info on the anti-IMF/World Bank demos
planned for Prague from September 25-28. We ourselves have a few copies
available for £2.
* * *
FOLLOWING an August break, the next meeting of
Worthing.eco-action will be on Tuesday September 5 at 42 Marine
Parade, Worthing (above Paiges bar) from 7.45pm. And you are all invited!
* * *
FINALLY, our sympathy goes to comedian Mark Thomas, rapped by
the Broadcasting Standards Authority for a mild criticism of the
Foreign Secretary on his TV show, which concluded: "Robin Cook should be here,
the f****** evil little corporate knob-polishing, hypocritical lying
scum-f****** f***." Mark later told The Guardian: "I’d be
happy to withdrawn ‘f****** f***’."
No excuse for pig ignorance - subscribe!
THE PORK-BOLTER is
an independent community newsletter for Worthing with a funny sort of name and
a rather aggressive attitude. If you want to make sure of getting a copy of
issue 30, simply send us a stamped self-addressed envelope. To get the next
six issues send a donation of at least £2 to cover costs. Copies of back
issues are still available. Cheques/postal orders made payable to The
Pork-Bolter. email subscriptions also available. Drop us a line:
porkbolter@eco-action.org or PO
Box 4144, Worthing, West Sussex, BN14 7NZ. website: http://www.eco-action.org/porkbolter
Printed and published by The Pork-Bolter, PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ.
No copyright - ie, we give you the right to copy us, you lucky people.
Facing A Tide of Ridicule
MAKE no mistake, Worthing is facing
a political crisis. Traditionally respected bodies such as our far-sighted and
dynamic Borough Council, the popular and charitable Freemasons, or our brave
and incorruptible Boys in Blue, are facing a tide of criticism and ridicule
that has even contaminated once-reliable standard-bearers of decency such as
the Worthing Herald. More voters are shunning the elections than ever before,
and seditious talk of "people power" is rearing its ugly head across the
borough. Dangerous and wild-eyed cyclists are forcing sensible motorists off
the roads. Irresponsible youngsters would rather ride their lethal
"skateboards" than become involved in the Rotarian movement. Dark times indeed
for Worthing, which is why we have taken the unprecedented step of sounding
the rallying cry for the Righteous Forces of Sound Fiscal Management. Drawn
from across a huge range of the political spectrum reaching from the
business-friendly Conservatives via the business-friendly Lib Dems to
business-friendly New Labour, our dream for Worthing is of a prosperous and
thriving community and we really mean business.
Divisive Words
AMONGST the propaganda churned out by the
subversive rent-a-mob several words keep cropping up that need to be
understood in their proper context. Democracy: This is often mis-used
to suggest that important decisions about the direction of our society can be
safely entrusted to members of the public with no specialist knowledge!! This
is clearly absurd. Real decisions must be made within the business community
and the public merely offered "consultation" which can safely be ignored.
Environment: If we are to believe certain types, the so-called "Earth"
is more important than essential economic growth. Any accountant will tell you
this is tripe. There is nothing sacred about any particular territory in
today’s market and if life is extinguished on this planet the business
sector is flexible enough to re-locate elsewhere with no valuable time wasted
on emotion or nostalgia.
Write to an MP
FAT CAT activists took to the streets on
Saturday July 1 to celebrate the fourth anniversary of the day our town
centre’s splendid Closed Circuit TV system first sparked into action.
There will always be those who try to knock this exciting step forward into a
safer future - just as there are moaners and whingers who try to put down
every great new scientific invention from asbestos to the nuclear bomb! But
what does it matter if statistics show that crime has gone up rather than down
since CCTV was brought in and critics are claiming that the system is a waste
of money? Spy cameras are essential in creating a decent society where
there’s no room for irresponsible and selfish "individuals" who
can’t learn to stay in line, know their place and obediently get on with
whatever they are told to get on with. But has it all gone far enough? We
don’t think so! That’s why we want YOU to write to your MP and
demand: * MORE CCTV cameras! Eventually there should be 24-surveillance in
every street in Worthing, in every home, in every room and every corner of
every room (and yes, that includes the loo!). Only then will we all be safe
from axe-wielding murderers and subversives. * BETTER all-round surveillance.
We demand that all our phone calls, post, e-mail messages and even
conversations should be monitored by the great British secret police, just in
case we say something naughty. As law-abiding citizens, we do not need any
privacy. If you’ve nothing to hide, you’ve nothing to fear! * HUGE
posters on prominent walls across Worthing, declaring "Big Brother is Watching
You", to reassure us that we are safe and happy in a modern, free and
democratic society.
"You owe us!"
YOU will notice that there is no price
mentioned at the top of this page and you may have imagined we are prepared to
hand out this newsletter for free, like the weirdo trouble-makers we are out
to oppose. Well, think again! Making pots of money out of the trusting public
is a central part of our philosophy and we have instructed our lawyers to slap
a writ on anyone found with a copy of The Fat Cat and take them to court for
not having paid us the £99.99 that we can now reveal is the cover price
of our publication!! Always read the small print before accepting "gifts" from
clever entrepreneurs like us! It’s this sort of smart wealth-creation
that made Britain what it is today and made us considerably wealthier than
you, you silly gullible little people! Meanwhile, you will notice that page
two has been completely given over to a paid advertisement. Adverts are
obviously very close to our hearts here at The Fat Cat and although that nice
Mr Francis Bacon from the Worthing Pork Federation did forget to
sign his cheque and has been rather late in producing his advert, we have
arranged for his message to be inserted on the other side of this sheet at the
last minute during the printing process. He assures us his organisation will
be giving our noble cause of Privilege and Prosperity all the backing it
deserves, so enjoy your read!
Felix Filofax says:
NOT A PENNY ON THE PAY, NOT A MINUTE OFF
THE DAY!
Fair attitudes that must be stopped
IT has come to our
attention that an event is being staged in Worthing on Saturday September 2
that challenges all the values we hold dear. Make no mistake, the Worthing
Green Fair at Beach House Gardens, near the Aquarena, will be stuffed full of
people opposing the fundamental civilised insight that life is all about money
and trampling over everyone else to get more of it. If you are as shocked as
we are, please join us in protesting against these degenerates. A fleet of
smelly diesel-powered buses will be departing from Worthing Pier to take our
anti-Green contingent the quarter of a mile to the Site of Shame the long way
round and tickets for the trip are only £249.99 a head (single). We hope
to run over a number of fluffy animals and small children en route.
and finally ... THANKS to our sponsors: South East Greed Council;
sussexploit 2000; Worthing Chamber of Wealth; Winston Smith Surveillance Ltd;
Crook, Mason & Beak; Globalcancer plc; The Institute of Bastards.
