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Issue 25 - March 2001

Sussex Police reveal protesters’ new secret weapon ...
YES, IT’S RIOT GRRRAN!

IT must be jolly stressful to be a top cop with Sussex Police in this day and age, but poor Assistant Chief Constable Tony Lake is clearly now one rubber bullet short of a full baton round. In a letter to the Evening Argus (February 22), Mr Lake defended the police’s treatment of protesters opposed to Shamrock Farm monkey holding centre at Small Dole, near Henfield. He bizarrely condemned "extremists who seek out older and less agile protesters to use as ‘human shields’ to escape arrest and provoke confrontation"! Even more eccentrically, he claimed that there have never been any "riot police" at Shamrock, with people under the false impression that police tooled up in riot gear amounts to the same thing. Cynics might ask whether Mr Lake really thinks older people have somehow been tricked into opposing Shamrock and are so stupid they can be "used". They might also suggest that he is really just rather frustrated that at Shamrock his non-riot squads cannot merrily weigh into groups of younger protesters, who they can always get away with portraying as violent trouble-makers... But we’re having none of that! No, we applaud Mr Lake for exposing the growing menace of "rent-a-granny" mobs deployed by evil protesters. And we can also assist him with his confusion over what is a riot cop and what isn’t. A reader has sent us a cutting from a Daily Telegraph supplement (January 25) with the commendably truthful title of Business Benefits from Technology (The Luddites could have told them that much...) This features a charming article about a company called Civil Defence Supply which is doing awfully well thanks to its Internet site selling "police and security specialist products" (http://www.civil-defence.org if you’re interested, Mr Lake). Their splendid illustration shows "an elite riot officer" equipped with the full fetishistic range of the firm’s first-class products, including stuff like handy Leather Riot Gloves (quite different from non-riot gloves, of course) and a lovely baton for smashing people’s heads in. If any wishy-washy liberal types think all this is rather over the top, think again we also show here the fearful might of the Elite Riot Grrran being used by protesters, against which the police must obviously be protected. Only one question mark remains who was Mr Lake referring to when he wrote of "cowardly thugs" involved in the Shamrock conflict? Surely he doesn’t mean those non-riot blokes with crash helmets and nasty big sticks?

Council breaks its own rules

ANYONE who has tried to get Worthing Library to display publicity material for a good cause will know how difficult it can be. Anything deemed in the least bit "political" is simply not allowed official space for instance, material produced by environmental charity Friends of the Earth calling for National Park status for the South Downs. But, as usual, it turns out the rules don’t apply to you if you happen to be the political party running the council that happens to run the library! And The Pork-Bolter can reveal that the Tories in charge of West Sussex County Council are using Worthing and other libraries to peddle their latest propaganda leaflets against National Park status for the South Downs flagrantly breaking their own rules! In fact, we reckon they are breaking them in three different ways. The library service leaflet on the subject, Posters and Leaflets (1999), explicitly bans "religious or political materials", "material of a campaigning nature" and "multiple copies of magazines or newsletters for distribution". The county council’s glossy green A4 sheet "Keep Planning Local" falls foul of all of these. Thousands of copies of this deceitful drivel are being put out through libraries, and the content is blatantly political and campaigning, presenting a totally one-sided view of the National Park issue, thinly disguised as a "Question and Answer" type leaflet. "Does National Park status mean greater protection for the South Downs landscape against development?" the county council Tories ask themselves. ‘NO’ they reply in big bold type, against all the evidence. "Would the Downs be better off if planning powers were transferred to a National Park Authority?" they then ask themselves. ‘NO’ is again the unbiased non-campaigning, non-political reply. Thirdly they ask: "Would a traditional National Park work well along the South Downs?". Coincidentally, the answer to this one also turns out to be ‘NO’. What a surprise. The reason for all this propaganda is, of course, that the vast majority of the local public support a National Park. Yet again, the arrogant authorities’ response to public opinion is not to listen to it, to be guided by it, but to try and manipulate and alter it so that it fits in with their own little power-seeking agendas. That’s how our phoney "democracy" always works. Adur District Council, with a Labour administration, is reporting the county council to the District Auditor for using council tax payers’ money on a political campaign through these "misleading" Keep Planning Local leaflets (Evening Argus, February 16) and we wish them luck (in this instance!). But in the meantime we are asking you lot out there to renew your acquaintance with the library, give them chapter and verse on why they’re in the wrong and tell them it’s long overdue they brought themselves to book!

Fat Cats cream off our tax money

WORTHING Borough Council has announced an exciting plan to "redirect finance" – straight into the grasping hands of Fat Cat businesses. The admission came at the end of a report in the Worthing Guardian (February 11) about yet another above-inflation increase in council tax. Steve Waight, the council’s policy and resources committee chairman, chose the occasion to announce a thrilling "change of direction for Worthing." He said: "Economic development will be an area of major change in support. We will be redirecting funds into ensuring that Worthing remains a profitable place in which to do business and into attracting new businesses to the borough." Readers will recall that Worthing has already been named "most profitable" (rather than prosperous!) town in the UK thanks to the low wages paid locally, but this is obviously not enough for Mr Waight and his Tory chums. Once again, this is Robin Hood in reverse – stealing from the poor (by taxing them) to give to the stinking rich parasites who pull our politicians’ strings.

Hands up if you hate Beecham’s!

WORTHING residents can probably think of a number of grounds on which SmithKline Beecham could be criticised. There’s the smells and substances it leaks into our air and water, for instance, the huge profits combined with ever-present threat of massive redundancies, the public footpath across the edge of its site that it wants the county council to block off for "security" reasons (Worthing Guardian, February 18) etc etc. But worst of all could be the information that it makes its workers (mostly on insecure short-term contracts) put up their hands when they want to go to the toilet. Who said the days of the workhouse were over?

Porky Pie’s Top Tip of the Month!

HOW TO MAKE DEMOCRACY MODERN AND FLEXIBLE
  1. If the public insists on having opinions you don’t approve of, feed them constant lies and bullshit to try and make them change their minds.
  2. If the public wants to vote for a candidate you don’t approve of, use ANY MEANS to try and stop him standing.
  3. If all else fails, send in the tanks!

Licensed to avoid TV tax

DID you know that if you only ever watch videos on your telly you don’t have to have a license? We’ve got this from the horse’s mouth, following a reader’s exchange of letters with TV Licensing’s customer relations department. A chap there called Tim Jones wrote on February 10: "For the purpose of television licensing, someone who uses a television solely for watching pre-recorded videos is considered to be a non-user. This is to say that they do not receive broadcast signals for which a license is required." If you don’t believe us you can phone them and check on 0117 921 9111.

Dates for doing something

TUESDAY MARCH 7: Talk and video on Seattle protests by SchNews team. 42 Marine Parade, Worthing (upstairs from Paiges), 7.30pm.
SATURDAY MARCH 11: Protest against "Prevention of Terrorism Bill", Montague Place, Worthing, 1pm.
SUNDAY MARCH 12: National demonstration against Shamrock Farm, Small Dole, 12 noon.
TUESDAY APRIL 4: Video evening hosted by Worthing.eco-action, 42 Marine Parade, Worthing (upstairs from Paiges), 7.30pm.

PORK-SCRATCHINGS

THREE cheers for the super new gas-fired power station being built at Shoreham. No nasty smoke will be belching from the new chimney, we’re told, just an "almost invisible heat haze". Sadly though, that haze will be packed full of CO2, which will increase global warming, raise sea levels and could poignantly result in the seafront monstrosity being swept away by the floods it helped cause!
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THE official word on the Norwich Union/CGU insurance merger is that jobs are not likely to be at risk. But we’ve heard a rather different story - that the work done in Worthing is already covered by CGU in its Yorkshire offices and the whole place could well be shut down! Watch this space for developments.
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THE campaign against the new oppressive "Prevention of Terrorism" Bill, which absurdly reclassifies terrorism to include non-violent protesting, is gathering ground in Worthing. Contact Worthing Against the Terror Bill c/o PO Box 4144, Worthing BN14 7NZ for very latest news (see protest date above).
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A CHARMING illustrated collection of poems by local writer Jacqueline Deeks has just been published to help Brent Lodge Wildlife Hospital. It is available for £2.85 by post, payable to Brent Lodge, from its address at Cow Lane, Sidlesham, Chichester, West Sussex PO2 7LN. Please mark envelope "Poetry Book".

HM Government Terrorism Warning

READING this newsletter will qualify as an act of terrorism under forthcoming legislation, warns a spokesman for the Ministry of Freedom, who cannot be named because he does not exist. He explained: "Under the Prevention of Terrorism Act any person endangering anyone’s safety, including their own, will be classed a Terrorist. If our Non-Riot Police Officers see a Suspect reading this particular item they will undoubtedly feel provoked and will be sorely tempted to smash the Suspect’s head in. The Suspect will therefore have endangered his or her own safety and must in fact be a Terrorist. Therefore any force used is retrospectively justified in the interests of preventing Terrorism. It’s as easy as that when the Law is on your side!"

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